In December of 1987, U.S. President Ronald Reagan was in negotiations with Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev over the Intermediate Nuclear Forces Treaty -- the treaty would be a groundbreaking one, getting rid of all nuclear ground-launched ballistic and cruise missiles within a certain range. During the summit meeting in Washington, Reagan -- now rather famously -- told Gorbachev that his feelings about the arms-control treaty could be summed up by an old Russian proverb, “Doveriai no proveriai.” Meaning? “Trust, but verify.”
Reagan’s quip was remembered because it has the ring of truth: Parties are much more likely to trust each other when they have the means to determine if the other is being honest.
And that’s because one of the enduring truths about human beings is that we lie -- frequently and often quite casually. Psychologists believe the impulse to deceive in an inherent human impulse.
In fact, studies confirm that few people can make it through the day without lying -- that we lie anywhere from 30% to 50% of the time when discussing topics like our feelings, our actions and our plans.
Consider further: Some 60% of newly introduced people lie to one another within minutes to create a favorable impression. Dating couples lie to each other even more. And according to human resource managers’ most conservative estimates, 25% of all résumés contain significant lies.
Research also shows that, despite what we think, we don’t detect lies well at all. According to most experiments, the odds of detecting whether someone is lying rarely exceed random chance. And telling behaviors such as averting one’s gaze, shifting posture, smiling inappropriately? They’ve been discredited. Even trained professionals -- law enforcement officials, judges, psychiatrists, polygraph examiners, CIA agents or other skilled interrogators -- rarely do better than lay observers in detecting lies under controlled conditions.
So if you’re about to enter into negotiations, what do you do? Brace yourself for deception. But there are other methods as well. Robert S. Adler, a professor of law and ethics at the University of North Carolina, Chapel Hill, suggests that there are ways to detect or expose lies -- and ways to establish safeguards against them.
First, try asking questions in different ways. People who wish to deceive do not necessarily resort to outright lies, which can lead to charges of fraud. Instead, they dodge, duck, bob and weave around the truth, assuming that their statements will be misconstrued or not challenged. For example, if Tom is trying to contact Suzy and asks John for her phone number, John -- who has Suzy’s e-mail address but not her phone number -- might be technically correct in saying that he doesn’t have her number. To avoid such a narrow response, Tom should ask John whether he knows of any way to contact Suzy.
If you aren’t convinced that the other side is being forthcoming, try summarizing the point at hand in your own words and then ask the other side to answer “yes” or “no” whether you’ve got it correct. If your opponent responds without a simple affirmative or negative, then you’d be well advised to continue grilling: That person is, in effect, unwilling to answer the question directly.
Another good test: Try asking questions to which you already know the answer. If your opponent lies, you know you have trust issues. During the 1962 Cuban missile crisis, at a meeting with Soviet Foreign Minister Andrei Gromyko, President John F. Kennedy, armed with photographs, asked Gromyko to admit that the Russians had located the missiles in Cuba. Gromyko repeatedly denied it, causing Kennedy angrily to order a blockade of Cuba and demand the missiles be removed.
Finally, get it in writing: When a deal is contingent on the other party accurately representing facts, insist that these facts be included in the deal’s written terms. For example, Acme Manufacturing Co. might be reluctant to purchase a widget supplier because it is nervous about future demand for widgets. To reassure Acme, the seller might provide a major customer’s multiyear purchase commitment. However, as a condition of the deal, Acme should insist on getting a reference to the commitment in writing.
For more information on this topic is available at http://sloanreview.mit.edu/smr/issue/2007/summer/17/